Talk:Stairs/@comment-26054278-20150424010701
Another review, another "PotM" nominated pasta. While I do see some relatively short pastas nominated (such as "I'm Worried About My Son"), I don't think any of them have actually won. While this is an odd occurrence and there is probably multiple reasons why people tend to vote for longer pastas, it doesn't necessarily mean these shorter pastas are inferior by any means. This story is actually pretty dang good for a short, urban legend pasta. The style it was written in works well for the story presented, and while there are gaps in logic every now and then, it still accomplished what it was trying to accomplish. The characters don't need to be developed mainly due to the shortness of the story, which makes this story very reliant on how scary it turned out to be. While I didn't think it was terrifying, I'm not scared very easily, and I give the twist credit for providing some interesting thoughts. It isn't exactly a crowning achievement or amazing, but it is well done. There weren't any grammar errors and the word choice worked with the urban legend style, so I have no complaints in that department either. The build-up for the ending was interesting and I'm really glad how simple the realization of the lack of phone was. It is such an obvious thing that should be there, so the conclusion the detective comes to makes sense. My nitpick here is that this part of the plot could have been set up better if maybe the story began with the death of the husband and the people did a quick search of the house as they never mention the lack of a phone, but as this section is, I think it kind of works. The gaps in logic degrade this story a bit, but don't necessarily distract from an overall pretty great story. For example (and this was brought up in another comment as well), the fact that they send one guy that isn't even a police officer to investigate a murder is still a bit far-fetched, even with the excuses the story gave. Also, I kind of have to question how the lady was able to immediately leave when he knew the detective knew there was no phone. There was no reason for the things to be timed so close together, and for all she knew, it could have been exactly like the investigation of the death of the husband, in which the detail was completely forgotten and ignored. It would make much more logical sense if the detective drew his gun first or made some sort of indication he had found some evidence before the old woman ran. Imagine if the detective had found no evidence and that the old woman had just proved herself guilty. Nonetheless, this is still a pretty good urban legend for what it is, and it is told well enough. Therefore, I give this story an 8/10. Check out more of my critiques on the following page: My Critiques